the right way

Originally published at kristyk.org. You can comment here or there.

Echo follows the markers at White Sands

Which way is the right way? The answer is different for everyone. We all find our own way, navigating the complexities of this life using our experiences as a guide. What is important to me may be meaningless to you. And that's okay. It is good to be different. Our differences are what makes life interesting. But at the same time, there has to be some common ground... something that we all agree on that makes it possible to coexist peacefully.

Saturday, Mica and Mikal wanted to go to their mom's house and spend the night. Their brother was turning five and they wanted to be there with him. The details aren't important, but we ended up going to get them that night. As much as we want them to know and love their mom, we aren't willing to leave them in a bad situation. As usual, they were upset. This time, though, they weren't crying for themselves. They were sad to leave their brother behind.

Apparently, there was a lot of drinking at his 'party'. When it came time for his birthday cake, someone (a cousin's boyfriend?) shoved his face in the cake with the candles still lit and his face was burned. The girls wanted him to have a good birthday so we invited him over yesterday. We bought him some toys and a cake. I think he had fun. He is such a cute kid! The burn that the girls told us about was worse than I expected. Every time I looked at him I got more upset. He said they hadn't done anything for the burn, but that he washed it with water. I cleaned it for him and put on some antibacterial cream.

I'm so upset right now. It isn't the burn itself that bothers me so much. Kids get hurt. Just yesterday, Jon got scratched by the cat (when he wouldn't put it down) and Butterfly got a nasty bruise on her chest when she fell on her bike (again!). But to me, there is a big difference between kids being kids and getting hurt and an adult intentionally being cruel to a child.

So we are back to the original question. Mike's ex seems to think that as long as she isn't caught breaking any laws, what she does is okay. Butjust because something isn't wrong doesn't mean it's right. Maybe the common ground we need is kindness... simple human decency. Choose your own way, but watch out for those along for the ride.